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16 setembro 2011

— Ontem eu parei de chorar por um instante e disse a mim mesma: “Poxa, o cara se foi, me deixou aqui sozinha, está sorrindo por aí sem mim, e eu estou aqui, feito uma idiota, jogada nessa cama, vendo filmes bregas e comendo chocolate.” Então eu resolvi sair. Tomei um banho, coloquei aquele meu vestido preto, um par de saltos, e fiz uma maquiagem daquelas “de matar”. Fui com uma amiga em uma baladinha nova que abriu perto de casa. Foi tão legal, sabia? Me joguei naquela pista de dança, a música ecoava pelos meus ouvidos, a vodka surtia efeito e eu ria feito uma boba. Não sabia onde você estava, nem o que estava fazendo, muito menos com quem estava, mas isso já não fazia a menor diferença. Eu me diverti, das 22:00 às 04:45. Foi demais, cheguei a esquecer desse buraco que você deixou aqui no meu coração. Mas eu não liguei para contar vantagem não. Eu liguei pra dizer, que eu estou sofrendo há mais de uma semana, e você sequer me telefonou para perguntar se eu estou viva, ou se eu estou bem. Liguei também, porque quando eu cheguei em casa, percebi que o que eu mais queria era deitar no teu colo e te contar como tinha sido a minha noite. Dizer que encontrei mais um lugar nessa cidade onde vendem aquele seu whisky favorito. Contar que vi um casal abraçado perto do bar, e que eles se provocavam e riam feito eu e você. Dizer que o DJ tocou a música que você mais gosta, exatamente as 04:46 da manhã, e que por isso eu resolvi vir embora. Eu sei que você costuma dormir até meio-dia aos domingos, e que eu te acordei às 06:30 para te encher com as minhas baboseiras, mas é que eu cheguei aqui há mais ou menos uma hora e não parei de me mexer na cama, nem de pensar em você. Agora eu vou te deixar em paz e…

— São 6:37, e como você mesma disse, eu costumo acordar ao meio-dia. Mas se você chegar aqui em 23 minutos, ainda teremos 5 horas de sono, ou…

— Eu te amo!

— Vem logo que eu estou com saudades.

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